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December 8, 2009

This isn't really something that I've had an issue with before in my life, but pretty much since I started dating Peter, I've had to start scheduling days off from being social. And the weird thing is that it's not just Peter, it just started all around the same time. Suddenly I have this really wonderful and fulfilling life that's keeping me on my toes and not really allowing much time for, say, slow mornings, or chill-out evenings. For the most part, I'm okay with it, though I think the cats are getting a bit annoyed that I'm not here all the time to play with them. ^_^

I leave on holiday tomorrow with Peter to a world where there are no responsibilities and we can just sit about in front of a fire drinking vin chaud and playing cribbage. It's pretty much going to be paradise for 6 days, and it's well deserved on both parts. As luck would have it, I started getting sick while at work yesterday, which escalated until after I kicked the ladies out from my wee knitting club, and I pretty much passed out in bed after a fruitless search for NyQuil. Be that as it may, I have a feeling I'll be at least 90% by the time we fly off tomorrow, so hopefully my head won't explode with the change in pressure.

We've gotten our big freeze a little early this year, so it's been sunny but cold as fuck for the past week or so. Things are supposed to warm up this weekend, of course, while we're gone. I'll just be glad to not come back to snow or anything equally as horrendous. Rain, I can deal with, and actually miss.

September 8, 2009

I have been having some v strange dreams as of late, and since I have no proper therapist, I shall rehash them to you, dear internets. The ones that have stuck in my memory both have to do with murder. Well, specifically, me being a murderer. In both circumstances, I was upset about being cast as the villain in this hedonistic (oh, the puns!) play, but went along with my part all the same. In the first dream, I had a list of people I was to murder, but someone else was murdering these people before I could get to them. Rather than relieving me from this duty, it just upset me that someone else was taking the opportunity before me. Later, the other-murderer was creeping me out for knowing exactly who was on my list. In the second dream, remembered from Friday night, I dreamt that an ex-boyfriend and I had poisoned someone, then I poisoned him. Once they were both dead, I was given the chance to not have done the awful deeds, so I took it, and promptly had terrorists after me on my boat and shooting at me as I was attempting to get away by swimming. The really strange thing about the latter dream was that I didn't feel badly for killing the ex, I just felt trapped and anxious about getting rid of the body.

Not being a killing-type of person, dreaming about this kind of thing really bothers me. I chalk it up to a number of things: stress from moving, reading books that contained poisoning and one about chopping up bodies, lack of sleep in general, and the cat biting me awake in the morning (urge to kill rising), all of which are good excuses, I guess. And wouldn't you know it, but as soon as I started writing this, my ADD eyes also came upon these two entries in Dinasaur Comics, so maybe it's not just me.

August 27, 2009

Oh the irony that half of this post has been sitting in draft mode for exactly a month because I've been too busy to complete it. So here's a quick outline of the summer of my 30th year:

This shall forever be known as the summer of busy. So very much has been happening that it's hard to keep my head on straight, let alone remember what I was doing last week or how I ended up with these bruises. Yes, bruises... one large and deep one on my left calf and another on my back, neither of which do I have any memory of creating. Huh. And supposedly no one I've been with remembers anything that could have caused them, so I'll just let that go. But if I start experiencing missing time as well, I might start wearing a tinfoil hat... Regressing! Holy cow has it been fun. Kind of stressful, yeah, but fun. I'm turning 30 in 3 weeks (ed. erm, this was 5 weeks ago), and I must say that this summer has so far been the best one yet. What have I been doing?

I went camping with a group of girls who are incredibly awesome people, and we had such a fun time. I started dating a boy who is fun and funny and surprisingly wonderful. I've been going to Timbers matches religiously and having the time of my life supporting them. I went to at least 2 beerfests and 3 tappings. I got a new cat, and have been training Shinji to not beat the crap out of her too much. I went to the beach on a really hot day and played with a dog. I made pie-pops and forgot how much I enjoy making pie dough. I've been to as many barbeques as weekends, and burned the crap out of my tongue on a hot sausage. I've drank a lot of really good beer, and some not-so-good beer, both indoors and out. I've crashed parties and ran into people I didn't expect. I celebrated my 30th birthday with bacon-maple bars, a shared honkin' huge burrito, beer at Tugboat, and dinner with the awesome boy at Portland City Grill. I've met new people and have had amazing conversations. I've kept up with (some) friends better than I have in a good while. I'm moving in just over a week to a new kickass apartment. I filled holes in the walls and have started other huge projects that will likely keep me busy for years. I've been, overall, really happy.

This fall is going to kick my ass with the plans planned and plans as yet unplanned. Some really good friends are getting married and I am so happy to be a part of each of their celebrations. I am taking weekend bookings in November, but might have to push you to December; I hope you forgive me. But all in all, being too busy to write has been a good thing, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

July 16, 2009

Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my moving here. The day was hot, and the air was sweet with moisture and flowers in bloom. I spent my after-work time preparing for a camping trip taking place this weekend with a group of fantastic women and chatting with someone who has potential. After 2 years, I think I'm fully settled here - Portland is my Home in so many more ways than any place before. I am forever grateful for my friends here, and even the people I've met who have moved away. Everyone is incredibly interesting, and I'm looking forward to spending more time with my friends over the next few (very busy) weekends.

I can say that the one thing that really stuck with me from being in the mental hospital (a story for another time - it was many many years ago) was the phrase "this too shall pass." One of the counselors there had a ring with this phrase engraved on the inside, and regaled our group with stories of his own past mental illness. I remember thinking it incredibly trite and probably rolled my eyes in my 18 year-old head. But that phrase has really helped me in tough situations when I was most alone, and has brought me down a bit from highs when I feel on top of the world. It's hard to think that things will get worse when everything feels right with the world. Walking back from the store yesterday, looking towards downtown and the west hills at the colors changing in the sky, breathing the syrupy air, carrying bottles of wine (making white sangria for the camping trip), I felt good. Really good. Nothing's-gonna-tear-me-down good. But recalling that phrase brought me down a bit and allowed me to really truly appreciate the emotions and experience of that moment; it almost puts me in a place of zen. That alone was worth the cost of going nuts (yet another long story).

Be back next week, hopefully with photos from the camping trip. ^_^

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