So, I'm getting married again. In less than 1 week.
This time, it's ... normal. I feel good. I'm calm.
Every other person with whom I've been speaking is asking me "why aren't you more freaked out?" or commenting that I seem like "the calmest bride [they'd] ever seen!" Really? Is there something I should be freaked out about? I'm almost starting to feel a bit freaked out from my lack of anxiety than anything else.
I must say, though -- Peter is amazing. He's the person with whom I've felt so completely "me"... or at least, I've allowed myself to be so completely me. There's no pretense, no bullshit. There's no lying and there's no worrying whether he means what he's saying. There's no second-guessing or questionable ulterior motive. There's no one pulling strings from behind him, a hulking frame so obviously standing there, like a hovering beast. And, ultimately, there's everything I've been looking for.
I'm on holiday this week and next. I'm on vacation from school and from work. I'm really looking forward to this.
