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In which I provide an update
June 29, 2007

I've been meaning to type something up for sc.net for a while. And it's not really as if I've been incredibly busy. I did have to fly last-minute to Portland on Wednesday for a job interview (which I aced and was subsequently offered the position), and that was exhausting. I think it took all of yesterday to really recover, but other than that, I really haven't been doing much but packing and putting off writing lists. Today I spent almost 4 hours thinning out my music collection and then undid some of my hard work by adding on a ton more (now totaling over 46gig worth). I'm waiting to pack stuff I don't want to pack up just yet, and am, in general, just waiting for the day of the move. Sure, there's stuff I need to get done before then, but that can all wait until the last minute, can't it?

While I was in PDX last week (from Tues until Sat night), I secured an apartment and had a ton of fun tooling about town and meeting some new people who are friends of a friend. I keep thinking that I'm not going to have a social life, but in reality I'll probably start going out immediately since there's so much to do there and so many more interesting places to go. Now that the hard part is over (job and home secured), I'm starting to wax reminiscent about Boise. I knew this was going to happen, but I didn't think so soon. I do tend to preemptively strike fears and emotions; it makes me feel more in control of a situation. Plus, I'm not really going to have time to deal with any craziness outside of moving, since I'll be starting training for the new position the day after I arrive. Maybe after this is all said and done and I'm settled in, I'll have enough time for emotions and relaxation and the like. But as for now, I'll take care of the ones I think I'll need in the future, and will try to leave the stress to someone else. I've started this ball a-rolling, and while it's snowballed slightly faster than I expected, everything is going really well.

In which things are looking brighter
June 15, 2007

Ever since I've decided to move, and I mean actually made the decision, I've kind of felt guilty about it. Like now that I'm finally getting out of Boise, I'm actually totally selling out. I've been slightly embarrassed to tell people where I'm going for a couple of reasons: 1) A lot of people move out of Boise and end up back here - usually those people go either to Seattle or Portland. I personally know at least 3 people who had to come back because of financial reasons, and plenty more because for some unknown reason, they would rather be in Boise. 2) I'm kind of sick of people responding with, "But it rains there!" as if I didn't understand the fact that precipitation is like acidblood falling from skies of liquid hell to these people. I like rain. I love moisture. I actually don't like the desert. It gets way to effing hot here. My skin is scaly all year round - I'm constantly having to put on lotion and conditioner and god help me if I forget one day, because the next thing you know, I'm shedding my epidermis as if I were in Slytherin. But all in all, I feel fantastic about this decision. Half of my house is already packed up, and I'm heading to PDX on Tuesday for some job interviews and the like.

And back to the selling out? Now that Boise's downtown is actually getting somewhat better, there are some stores I frequent, sushi I enjoy on a regular basis, and a (yes, singular) coffeehouse where I am a regular, I feel I'm letting everyone down by leaving. I keep reminding myself that this is long overdue, that I have hated Boise for far too long, and the need and option for leaving is now.

I gave my landlord and property manager my 30-day (31-day, really) notice yesterday.

See here, here, and here for references to hating Boise. See at least here for reference to loving Portland. Plus, I smile much more in Portland than I do in Boise, unless I'm drunk.

In which my eyes are swollen shut
June 9, 2007

It's amazing how quickly things can change, and how even an inevitability can hurt so much, even when you think you prepared for it. So much turmoil has rocked my boat within the past 4 months, and I'm exhausted. I currently only have one foot to stand on and no one on which I can lean - it makes me feel so alone. It's wondrous how things got so far and yet not really far at all - like a star that explodes and quickly collapses upon itself, things are reverting to their previous states - different states, yes, but more in the area where they used to be. I am playing Conscience and Voice of Reason too much right now.

I'm running away to Portland in 5 weeks. I'm really really really afraid of being alone (I will know but one person there when I move), but sometimes one much face challenges head-on, stare them in the eyes.

I'm sad that such a happy, if dramatic, part of my life is over, but I'm looking forward to creating new memories and meeting new people with whom I can share a piece of myself. And if I keep thinking that, maybe I'll feel better by the end of the day - I can feel it working already.