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you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
March 3, 2004

Once in a great while, life slows down just enough for one to be nearly able to grasp time. This obviously hasn’t happened to me in a v. long time. It seems every year just gets shorter and time speeds up to an incredible pace, faster than the movement of the earth, faster than the speed of light. Even last Saturday, when all I did was knit and watch movies, the day struck in a blinding flash of light and was quickly gone. I grieved for its loss for 5 minutes, then went to bed.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait for days to end. Going through the days at school and looking forward to weekends and holidays propelled me through my years in elementary as well as higher learning, These holidays went quickly, of course, but the start of school thrilled me as well and got me back into a structured schedule, something which I had missed while on vacation. Holidays were filled with play: riding my bike with friends all over town, spending nights curled up on the trampoline in the backyard, swimming in anything that held water, making up swim-dances with Courtney to entertain my family, enjoying youth. It seems that I have come to the conclusion that youth is indeed wasted on the young. I’m sure when I get older, I’ll look back at these years in my mid-20’s and think the same thing.

The boy will be making his appearance again in my life, returning from hiatus in NYC and Egypt today. Though it feels as if he’s been gone for a year, the time has gone by quickly. I had a lot of fun with friends and going out and having time to just do what I wanted to do without thinking about anyone else but the cat. I was able to eat exactly what I wanted when i wanted, which included meals of just salmon and broccoli, or (last night) meatballs and asparagus. The meatballs burnt the hell out of the top of my mouth. It still stings.

I missed my boy a lot. When he was gone, I wasn’t able to expect anyone to be happy when I came home (except the cat). I had no one warm to sleep with. I had no one to cuddle with on the couch, no one to mark the improvement and length of my sweater every 5 minutes, no one to take out the garbage for me, and no one to distract the cat when she’s needling my bare knees.

The boy arrives at 16.10, and I’ll be there to pick him up with a smile on my face.


new york and egypt sounds like quite a mix.

it's nice when your loved one comes home. but you knit?! what, his socks?

Posted by: j-a at March 3, 2004 8:12 PM

We are certainly creatures of the moment. Your feelings are most understandable. I also miss having someone to notice the most negligible improvements in my knitting every five minutes.

Posted by: fern at March 4, 2004 9:19 AM

Yay! Mine is coming home (briefly) this weekend. I'm not as philosophical as you, and the suspense is disembowling me.

Posted by: Auntie Sarah at March 4, 2004 9:58 AM

hehe... no, i'm currently knitting a sweater for myself (which should be done by the end of the month! yay! just in time for spring! (uh, yeah, so i'll maybe be able to wear it twice)... i'll post pics of the sweater maybe tonight once i have some time.
i'm really happy to have him back. plus, he brought back pretty things for me! ^_^

Posted by: devlyn at March 4, 2004 1:15 PM

*wants sweater pics* =Þ

Give Ben a hug for me too...man I miss you guys!

Posted by: LeeAnn at March 6, 2004 8:16 PM