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i spy with my little eye... something nasty
April 1, 2004

So there's a newish billboard deal that stands on the south side of Chinden Road. It's a beer advert, which isn?t too uncommon in these parts. The strange thing is that it really doesn?t make any sense to me. I'm thinking that my IQ is just too high.

I see this billboard every day on the way to work. It's quite simple really. I don?t have a picture of it, but I?m sure you can picture it from the description.

A cold can of beer lines the right-side of the sign. Next to it is a phone book, open to the yellow pages. The only thing on the page one can make out is a square outline around the words "Free Clinic." The title of the billboard lines the bottom, which says, "Parties Happen."

**edit** found a pic and snagged it from the local news site that has an article about mothers not liking the signs, as I guess they're close to jr. high schools or something. Click on the pic to read the article. It's nothing to tremble about, really.

Now, maybe someone can explain this to me. Maybe I'm just thinking the wrong way about this. But here is what I?ve come up with so far:

1. They could be talking about hangovers. Like, it would be nice if there were a free clinic around that would hand out hangover cures the day after so one wouldn't have to sit by the toilet all Sunday after drinking too many cheap beers, just because they were cheap, and you were already drunk, so they really weren't that bad.
2. Free morning-after pills? Like if we could see the rest of the page, maybe it's filled with Planned Parenthood and Central District Health department. Maybe what they're saying here is maybe the government should hand out morning-after pills like candy, so that when you're drunk and you have sex with that guy that wasn't necessarily hott, but you didn't care because you were drunk, you won't have to face the sickening thought of it for the rest of your life by having his offspring. Or whatever.

So I don't know if the billboard is really good or bad. Well, okay, so it's bad. It's for Keystone light for chrissakes. Anyone who ends up too drunk after drinking that sewage deserves it.

So off on the pregnancy foot - no, I'm not pregnant, but I've found people around me are starting to do the pregnancy thing. Not necessarily meaning to, I'm sure. So of course we slags are all hush hush and blah blah behind the backs of others, which really isn't a good habit, but is fun nevertheless. Though I throw the snarky comments as well as the others, there's just a little tug on my heart string that makes my clock tick. Just once, mind you, but I feel the tick. It makes me slightly nauseous. It makes me want to look at cheap Walmart baby cribs and coo at the cuteness of Winnie the Pooh. For about 10 minutes. Then I get over it.

The whole thought of having kids totally scares the flying fuck out of me. I know that one day I actually will want to have them, but I think I'm afraid of losing all of the personal freedoms I take totally for granted right now. I guess I'm happy that I'm realizing this now, so I'm not all stupid and regretful once I start popping out the puppies. Someone must promise to smack the hell out of me if I start decorating with Winnie the Pooh, though. I mean Disney Winnie the Pooh; Pooh the original is cool. Erm... yeah.


boy. that really sounded like you're quite broody!

had dinner with a girlfriend last night who has a two year old. the kid wouldn't let the mother feed her unless she was being held by her mother, who of course, had to stand for most of the meal to entertain the kid. argh. i'm not sure i am ready for that either.

Posted by: j-a at April 1, 2004 11:55 PM

Babies are tools of the Man invented to keep Us Down. Resist, sista. The baby section at Target, which I visited once, because I had to go to a baby shower, gives me the hives.

Posted by: Auntie Sarah at April 2, 2004 6:51 AM

What a strange billboard. I don't get it either, and I also spent a decent amount of time thinking about it. huh...

Peculiar, though it may sound, I may have a little Jennifer Junior one of these days. Not any time soon, mind you, but perhaps when I'm like 35.

Posted by: fern at April 2, 2004 10:29 AM

That sign is probably for planned parenthood and they got a donation from keystone light so drink keystone light beer and you to can get preggers. Tell you what Dev you need to have small ones while you are young enough to run after them or rich enough to hire someone else to raise them. and you shouldn't wait like i did and have one at thirtynine. it takes a lot of work and you don't have the energy but like you i was scared to death that i couln't or shouldn't do it and it is the greatest thing i ever did. luv ya auntie su

Posted by: auntie su at April 5, 2004 4:45 AM

I totally know what you mean about the whole clock-ticking thing. I'm 26 (okay, I will be on Wednesday!)...I shouldn't be ticking like this!

I think I'll blog on this today...it's been stewing for awhile.

Posted by: LeeAnn at April 5, 2004 9:42 AM