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In which it's all about the wait
July 14, 2007

I leave tomorrow morning for Portland. All of my worldly possessions (save my cat and my car, but who actually owns a cat, anyhow?) are parked in a truck-and-trailer combo on a street not far away. Today was slightly hellish and only the complete absence of most any emotion kept me together. I figured out I'm cutting off everything so I don't get too stressed out about everything. After all, I am actually moving tomorrow and starting a new job on Monday morning, bright and early in the new city I'll call home. Everyone I've been talking to about this, from the post man to the (now ex-) hipster neighbors have expressed their amazement at the quickness of the whole move, but I don't think it's hit me yet at all. I doesn't seem at all contrary to good judgment to do what I am doing, so I continue to do it. Maybe it'll all catch up with me at the point when I'm actually settled in and haven't anything else to stress about.

I was thinking the other day about how this is one of those things that I am going to have to (mostly) deal with on my own. It's been such a very long time since I've had to take such a big life-changing event in stride, as it were. Bob will be out of town when I get to PDX - I'm taking care of his chinchilla, Cia, while he's gone. I really don't know anyone else there besides some friends-of-friends, and though it's not as if I won't have enough to do with the unpacking and all for the first few weeks, I've been so crazily keeping myself busy social-wise that I feel I might experience a lack that may even surprise me. Thus, I have already started putting social events on the calendar with good ol' strangers - a knitting group on Thursday, a Flickr meetup on Wednesday. I know there'll be plenty of time to meet new people later, but I'm so incredibly afraid of being lonely and having a possible (god forbid, seriously) honest-to-goodness homesickness for Boise, that I would rather fill my schedule as full of events as possible so I don't have the time to feel those things. You know what I mean?

Anyhow, I'm so incredibly exhausted and sleepy and ohmygod do I hurt. Again, I'm not actually really looking forward to driving the 7-hour road to Portland with the bf tomorrow, but I'm also not not looking forward to it. The lack of anticipation is kind of creeping me out. What I am looking forward to is getting this all over and starting afresh, like a newly laid blanket of snow. Wish me luck.