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Although it could totally be the caffeine...
April 12, 2005

I’m having a mini-freakout right now. It’s yet to become external, but my heart is pounding rapidly in my chest, and I’m feeling more than a bit woozy.

The wedding is totally stressing me out at this point. Even though at home, we’re having fun planning the trip to Scotland afterwards, it seems like around every corner, another guest is inviting him or herself and his or her dog (neice, grandchildren, neighbor). This is, of course, all on the B’s side of the line – I don’t think they are realizing that we’re (read: me) are paying for most of this ourselves (read: not the B's mom, not my mom). I’m having to be more frugal than I ever have been before so I can make sure I can actually pay for all of these things. Suddenly the whole east-coast brood of the B’s family is coming. These are the offspring of his great-uncle. I’m thinking that his extended family is far more close than mine, because, as I wouldn’t mind seeing my great-aunt Nore or great-aunt Helen, they’re not coming to my wedding (as far as I know), and neither are their children.

This is so totally going to turn me into a bridezilla – Amy, have pity on me – you get to jet off to France for a few weeks, and I have to stay here and deal with this. The wedding was originally planned for 30-50 people, and now it’s ending up to be more than 100. Thank G-d my mother is paying for the reception – with just my expenses, I have to come up with 5k in the next 5 months. And hopefully more money than that. I’m cutting corners where I can, but for every corner I cut, another guest comes up and rebuilds it. I’m taking on extra work for more money, but it never seems like it’s going to be enough.

Even with half of this stuff already paid for, I’m this close to just going downtown and getting the civil ceremony over with and eloping.


How come B isn't helping to pay for some of this? Don't be stuck doing this alone its his wedding too!

Posted by: auntie su at April 13, 2005 3:54 AM

hold on, you telling me you didn't write down a guest list FIRST?

my dear, just say NO to these relatives coming out of the woodworks. it may be painful, but you can't bankrupt yourself for a wedding.

Posted by: j-a at April 13, 2005 6:44 AM

i second both what antie su and j-a said.
a. you should not be paying for the lion's share of this.
b. fuck all the extended family. the wedding, i am sure, is stressful enough without having to go back and scrimp just so his great great great great twice removed half aunt can nosh at your wedding dinner. view your wedding plan as a business plan, and like any good business plan, if you want it to be successful, you need to stick to the plan.

Posted by: zach at April 13, 2005 8:24 AM

Yes, I am in agreement with the three previous commentors.

Posted by: fern at April 13, 2005 9:16 AM

indeed. thanks for the input.
j-a: we did and do have a guest list which was written out a few months ago - about 25 people have been added to the list. irk.
everyone else: the b is paying for the honeymoon, i for the wedding. and considering the amount of money he is spending on that, the ring, and his outfit, i'm more than fine with paying for the wedding. the only issue is that the addition of any new guest adds at least $10 onto my budget.
all in all, i'm going to have a big converstaion with ben this weekend and go over the guest list again. if he can't cut some people, i'll have to go over his head (to his mom). i'm actually quite excited about the prospects. will keep you all updated.

Posted by: devlyn at April 13, 2005 9:21 AM

You saying that you're being more frugal than you ever have before is really saying something. I've always known you to be great at making your money stretch and keeping track of exactly how much you have. I'm so happy that you've finally settled all your debt problems...I'd hate to see this upset that!! I bet you and your boy will work something out to deal with the influx of distant relatives. :)

Just know if you do elope, I won't blame you but I'll still want my pretty sash and I'm still coming to the party that you will be having! :P

Do tell me if there's anything that I can do to help from here!! *hugs*

Posted by: LeeAnn at April 13, 2005 12:35 PM

Can I come to your wedding, Devlyn? I only have 10 guests I'd like to bring, too. Ha, ha, just kidding. Hope you pull it off, ladykins.

Posted by: Jason at April 14, 2005 10:16 AM

I'm getting nervous, don't cut the photographer budget.
BTW, We are back from Hawaii, so call us at your convinient.

Posted by: Ardavan at April 14, 2005 4:53 PM

SEE!! I told you. Carpet store. It's the way ahead.

Posted by: Alisha at April 15, 2005 9:16 AM

You should rent a big field and tell everyone to bring their tents! Lots of kosher hot dogs for everyone!
Love, Uncle Charlie

Posted by: uncle charlie at April 16, 2005 11:47 AM