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The issues with living in hell:
June 23, 2005

We went from 2 down comforters and a blanket to, overnight, only a light sheet. Our limbs are now posed in odd angles when attempting to sleep – arms strewn in mock crucifixion; we dangle our legs to the sides of the bed, freeing them from the stuffy under-sheet world of dampness. The mere thought of touching flesh to flesh (including our own) causes instant perspiration.

The mornings have been hazy; it’s 80° by 8am, the clouds pressing the heat to the surface of the Earth. We stare up at the grey sky, hoping/praying/wishing for some form of precipitation to cool the air. Not necessarily the biting coldness of 2 weeks past, but rain nonetheless.

My brain is currently a mere index of lists, groups according to The chosen send-out-with-the-invites photo, taken 2 weeks ago.importance. All, of course, have to do with the wedding, which is now less than 2 months away. With a limited budget, I am racking my brain for clever ideas that refuse to appear regarding centerpieces and the like. My eyes are bored with everything at The Knot and wedding sites in general. Looking at magical-perfect brides skipping jauntily down a wood-lined path (alternatively, insert grassy meadow, beach, or kitten-filled sandbox), their chosen mates clutched at the wrist, happy to be pulled/lead this direction.

I’m trying hard to keep some sort of composure, and not slip into bridezilla mode every time something doesn’t go quite right or the guest list changes (pregnant, at this point, with additions - the invites have been sent, though). However, my temper is waiting to flare at any moment, as if I’m on permanent PMS patrol. This, of course, is usually taken out on the one person that isn’t able to relieve himself of my presence: Ben.

I console myself with reminders of everything that is done, breathing relief knowing that at least my dress, shoes, and sash are safely being crushed in the closet. Too often I close my eyes and imagine it’s all over and we’re already on holiday in Scotland.

Sometimes I think that I may actually be able to write well, if only I could actually form my thoughts into proper words and coherent phrases. However, this rare occurrence only seems to happen after midnight, in bed.


Mr. Mailman brought my invitation today! Aww you guys are so cute!! I found myself staring hopefully at the mailbox hoping my dress was somehow crammed inside and I just didn't see it! :(

But! I got to flop around in my new sparkly bridemaid-sy shoes the other day which made me quite happy. :)

I *so* wish that I could be doing more to take some load off your shoulders. Shoot me an email if there's anything even remotely helpful that I can do!

Posted by: LeeAnn at June 23, 2005 4:14 PM

yeah yeah, i've been bad about the dresses. they are shipping off today, though, so you should have it by friday, i would think. and what i could really use right now is a day off. and i don't think anyone can give me that. :(

Posted by: Devlyn Author Profile Page at June 24, 2005 9:26 AM

hey that is a fantastic photo of you and ben. i have got my dress now too. but i don't have shoes or a veil yet...

Posted by: j-a at June 26, 2005 12:08 PM

i've got the shoes, but i'm skipping the veil altogether. i don't really like things in my hair/on my head like that, so i'd most likely just ditch it at the first available opportunity, anyhow.

Posted by: Devlyn Author Profile Page at June 26, 2005 9:21 PM

I think you should try to just relax. I know there's so much to do, but everything will be great.

Posted by: fern at June 27, 2005 10:40 AM

Hahahahaha..kittens in a sandbox? That is too strange..

Posted by: teahouseblossom at June 30, 2005 7:08 AM