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In which everything is sofa king useless
October 17, 2006

Holy shit am I depressed. I transported myself back to 1997 for that last post, and 18 year old me decided to stick around a wee bit longer. I was up until past 6am this morning watching fucking anime because I couldn't think of anything better to do, and that included sleep. It still took me almost an hour to fall asleep, and the suns rays were peeking around my window blinds by the time my eyes shut for good.

I am back at the point where I feel like a total fucking loser because I'm not popular enough or something. It's so hard to explain how I'm feeling right now, but nice of it to drop by while I basically have no health insurance and no money and arghfuck. Or maybe that's part of the reason why my emotions have gone down the drain. Hello any future employers: want to hire me now? Also? Clue: perhaps depressed people shouldn't go out and drink alcohol. You know, because it's a depressant.

I have let things get away from me, and I just need to reign everything in again.

Hopefully back to the regularly scheduled non-whining fuckwittage eventually, but I make no promises. I'm going to sit here in my robe and watch some more teevee-on-computer because I don't feel like getting up to get breakfast yet. Yes, breakfast at 1.10pm. Judge away.


hey dev you are loved and you're not a loser. snap out of it and start running - it will get those endorphins going and i know it will heal you. you are going through a bad time right now and probably nobody knows just what to say to help you and ben out right now. shit happens to all of us at one time or another and these feelings of loss will need to be acknowledged by the both of you. Losing a baby is very disappointing but you are not a failure and quit watching the tube go out and feel the life. see you soon love aunt su

Posted by: aunt su at October 20, 2006 10:53 AM

Can I sit with you? I think I'm with you as far as mood goes. Funny, I'm not a crier and yet seem on the verge ALL THE FUCKING TIME these days. When I'm not feeling like that I'm pissed off, what a trade off huh? Gag, blah, gag.
Anyway, I wish you were coming tonight.

Posted by: dom at October 20, 2006 4:50 PM