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it has been raining outside
March 7, 2003

it has been raining outside today. normally i enjoy rain, but it just seems like this winter has gone a bit too far and a bit too long for me to cherish. i could really use some sunshine right about now, just brightening my face and warming my back.

other than that, life has begun to seem rather lame. i pretty much do the same thing every damned day... every other day (and sometimes in-between) i go to the gym and do the same things. days when i don't go to the gym, i just stay at home and usually make dinner. i then eat it while half-heartedly playing TSO. TSO has begun to be boring as well, as most people are just sitting around getting skills instead of actually interacting, which is what the game is basically about. then again, i could be just going to the wrong places. much like my life, i don't get out much in Calvin's Creek...

i have been tooling about online a bit trying to get ideas to finish the rest of my site. for some reason i am just completely blocked from my artistic thoughts. could be that my muse has taken a little vacation, going along with ben, who is now in egypt... or so i think... i get confused when i look at the itenerary, so i don't bother anymore. i just know that eventually, he'll be home, and then everything will get better. *L* "if only i had this, then i would be happy..." and so it goes...

my life, so far, as been an "okay" success... or so i would like to think... for now, i have a good paying job, but that's going to be taken from me in 3 weeks... i have a neat house, cool stuff, and lots on my mind. i just think i need to be doing something more, you know... i would like to go back to school, but i really don't want to go to BSU... i never did want to go there, so i think that may be part of the reason why i dropped out... i just need something more, but i'm not sure how to attain it right now. it's something i have to work on. :)