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this is what caffeine does to me:
August 1, 2003

so after not having a cigarette for the longest amount of time since starting smoking, i was feeling rather odd. see, this is the first time really that i've tried to quit smoking, and i have a feeling that i'm going to have to make due with other legal drugs for a while to take over the need for nicotine. i'm actually doing rather well, ie. i'm not ready to start digging in an ashtray for halfway-smoked remains just to get a puff or two. however, all day i've been v. sleepy, and though i'm not sure that has anything to do with the lack of nicotine, i decided to do what any other sane person would do, and down 2-32oz portions of coffee, mixed, of course, with a packet of "no-sugar-added" hot cocoa, some powdered non-dairy creamer, and just a bit of sugar. now normally that wouldn't be at all bad or amazing, but i rarely ever consume caffeine. methought this would be a good idea, since i was falling asleep looking at my computer screen, so i faithfully downed the liquid and suddenly exploded with energy. my eyes, however, are still tired. after drinking the coffee, i needed something to entertain me. preferably on the computer. as you may be able to tell, today has been rather slow for me, having only spent a total of 21M talking on the telephone. and i have been here for over 7H. okay, so back to the needing something to do... i have always had a bit of a morbid/macabre fascination with murders, etc. not that i really really want to learn everything i can about them. i think it's just because they freak me out, and like a good horror movie, i like to get freaked out once in a while. so don't think i'm just sitting around all day thinking about the manson family (charles, not marilyn), or reading mein kampf (which, incidentally, i never have) over and over again. so i'm just reading about the more interesting killers in history out on crimelibrary.com, and i got all mixed up in the zodiac killer, so now i'm going through that page. and see, this is wonderful, as the boy won't be home until around midnight (don't ask), and since everyone else is planning on being out, i think i'll probably be home alone, not smoking, and bored out of my mind. or something like that. maybe i'll take the time to actually learn fireworks, so i can get my index page finished finally, for the server move scheduled sometime this month. happy august everyone! and my apologies if this post didn't make any sense and was far too long.