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and the winner is...
November 20, 2003

On another note, I can’t believe that people actually read stuff like this and believe in it. Supposedly, one would purchase these little booklets and give them away to other sinners™ on the street or wherever. After reading the story, the sinner™ would immediately realize his/her horrible sinning deeds, and give his/her life over to Jesus, savior™.

I was Christian once. Hell, I was even Mormon once. I didn’t grow up as a Christian. My mom studied Eckankar, but kind of fell out of that. I had some fun with it, but didn’t really believe everything in it, either. I started going to a Christian church when I was a freshman in high school because this girl I was in PE with (pretty much the only “friend” I had that semester) went there, and drug me along. I was baptized in like 2 weeks. I was really kind of blasé about the whole thing. The girl I was friends with was a self-confessed slut and liked to fake-smoke cigarettes. The church people said that listening to secular music would make Baby Jesus™ cry, and I would go to hell if I didn’t stop. I left California.

I was 18 when I joined the Mormon Church. I was actually just trying to get a Book of Mormon, for lack of other reading materials. I couldn’t find the phone number to get the free book, so I called the bible number, and they didn’t have any Books of Mormon. So they sent elders to my house. They invited me to church. Now, Christian church was only like an hour long, and then we got to go have punch and cookies with the rest of the youth group. Those darned Mormons want you to sit around for like 4 hours every Sunday, as well as get together during the week to do stuff like Family Home Night and all that kind of stuff. As I was pretty much a loner, I had nothing better to do. I was baptized within a month. I still smoked secretly after church, while wearing a nicotine patch. I pretty much quit going to anything Mormon after another month and a half. These people wore me out. Oh yeah, and I didn’t believe that Jesus was my Lord and Savior™.

Just a little aside on Mormons, I would love to share my theory on them. Having been a Mormon, having friends who are former-Mormons, living next to a Mormon Church for 8 years of my life in California, and now living in the state with the most Mormons per capita in like the US or something, I think I have a pretty good basis for judgment. I like the Mormons in Idaho least of all. And I know a ton of Mormons here. Now, I know this is a complete generalization, but for some reason, the Mormons here tend to be two-faced. Like they’re all nice to your face, but you can tell that they hate you in their eyes. I know plenty of Mormons in California and in Utah as well, and though some of them are the same as the generalized Idaho Mormon, they (as a whole) tend to be nicer and more real. They were Mormons, but nice human beings, too. Yes, yes… I know nice Mormons in Idaho, too, but most of them are exactly the way I’ve described them above. And I don’t know why they are like this. It is truly one of life’s great mysteries.


devlyn: just so you know, mormons in utah are much more evil. utah is an evil evil place and the mormos in utah cannot even compare to the ones here...this is from experience living close to utah and in pocatello and having non-mormon relatives in utah (as well as mormon relatives).
mormons elsewhere in the states and the world are generally okay people who just belong to this church rather than another one.
in order of evilness it is utah mormons then idaho mormons then all other mormons.
utah = evil, albeit beautiful.

Posted by: zax at November 21, 2003 8:44 AM

"Like they’re all nice to your face, but you can tell that they hate you in their eyes."

That describes the majority of people that I encounter during the day, Mormon or otherwise. Maybe it's the human race that's two-faced.

I don't like people of any religion, frankly. Maybe if they didn't kill each other over it so often I'd like 'em better.

Posted by: Auntie Sarah at November 21, 2003 1:18 PM

"When a priceless carpet is permanently stained, its owner learns that only Jesus' blood can remove the stain of sin."

Okay I was a hardcore Christian for several years and even I never heard of anything that freaking lame.

Posted by: LeeAnn at November 25, 2003 12:15 PM