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In other news...
June 8, 2004

Okay, so as soon as I wrote what I wrote below, I came up with something a lot more thorough and having to do with things that are in my face all the time. So, case in point, nostalgia. I understand that there is this huge surge of merch coming through the stores that is marketed to people of my age group: the 20-somethings. This is not new. Even more so, the merchandise isn’t really “new,” either, it’s leftover from the ‘80s.

I saw a Skip-It at (horror of horrors!!) Wal-Mart the other night, and thought of how I wanted one really really badly when I was 10, and when I finally got it, I realized that it wasn’t really as cool as I thought it was, and it hung in my closet until my house burned down. Well, my house really didn’t burn down, but I don’t know what eventually became of the Skip-It.

There’s plenty of crap on the market that’s just plain shit. Some people wax mournfully at their lost childhoods, and feel the need to overestimate the coolness of everything back then. Take teevee: I, bowing to the masses, was watching some olden-day teevee that I was so fortunate to have downloaded off of ye olde interweb. So, I’m sitting, right? And watching “Greatest American Hero,” a show I remember liking when I was young, and it was lame. Lame. Really badly horribly grinding my teeth at the horror of it all lame. Like not even haha this is lame, but also cool because it’s nostalgic, and nostalgia and vintage campy shit is cool, but just plain stupid.

I began thinking about my youth and all the things that I loved that I could love again, with the magic of modern technology, and, well… money. I realized it was all lame. It sucked. You remember “Saturday morning cartoons” like The Smurfs and Voltron and He-Man? They all sucked, badly. I couldn’t force myself to watch more than 5 minutes of each, so badly was my brain rejecting all information my eyes and ears were serving it.

We need to take a stand against cheap merchandising and forced nostalgia! It’s not as good as it used to be, folks, but we need to understand that nothing is going to bring back the “good old days” of 9 year old bliss. I may sound extremely pessimistic, but the fact remains that it’s necessary to move on with our lives and let the past go. It’s great to have memories of fun times and whatnot, but we don’t need to materialize it all – if anything, it dishonors the memories.

Of course, I’m a total hypocrite.


Everybody wants to cash in on "retro" so badly that "retro" is becoming "five years ago." People are already having 90s nostalgia, which, I suppose, makes sense in a way, since the 90s were so "prosperous" and "care-free," if everyone forgets what was really going on.

At any rate, I have nostalgia for times before anyone I know was alive. I want nothing more than to drink tea on the lawn and watch Lady Turkberry and the Earl of Floppington play croquet.

And I betcha that anyone who actually ran around in corsets and pretended that her husband wasn't lynching black people and didn't have aspirin to take for her cramps would say I'm just as foolish as I say the 90s nostalgists are.

Posted by: Auntie Sarah at June 8, 2004 3:04 PM

Wait, the Smurfs sucked? No way, I used to love that show so much! They were like mini blue creatures who talked funny. How could that suck?

But yes, I too have experienced the let-down of nostalgia. For example, I used to really love this cartoon called Unico about a baby unicorn who was lost in this fantasy world and would wander around. Each episode would have Unico meet a neat friend, only for something bad to happen, requiring that Unico save the friend and ultimately forcing Unico to wander around alone again until she met a new friend that needed saving. Last summer I rented several episodes and I watched one, that I remember as being my favorite, and it was so aweful that I had to shut it off. I was so disappointed.

I was also really into the My Little Pony cartoons and movies. They, too, suck.

But you know, cartoons today suck just as much. Methinks that kids just have less sophisticated taste than we adults do. It's a tale as old as time.

Posted by: fern at June 8, 2004 4:15 PM

hmmm, we were never allowed to watch cartoons when we were little, though that didn't stop me from watching "he-man!" hee hee! i bet i'd hate it if i were to watch it today.

have you noticed, though, that even with "equal opportunity" cartoons, like the spin-off "she-ra," women still get a raw deal? i mean, come on, she-ra sucked and he-man was way cooler!

miss you, dev!

Posted by: leah at June 8, 2004 10:14 PM

um. (cough cough).

your YOUTH? aren't you young enough now?

(cough cough)

Posted by: j-a at June 9, 2004 2:20 AM

ms. j-a thinks she's 50 or something... i'm not that far behind you, lil miss. not far at all. :P

Posted by: devlyn at June 11, 2004 6:39 PM