Ah jeezus, I’m counting again, aren’t I? We’ve finally reached the one month mark, but I am disappointed by the lack nerves on my part. I thought that at this point, I would be rushing around freaking out about stuff and being a generally horrible person to everyone around me, but I’m not. I’m not a highly organized person, but with this wedding stuff, just getting things done has been a pretty easy task to fulfill. There are only a few more things I really have to worry about, and the M.o.H. has my back. Amy and I had a wonderful meeting last night, after which she had a surprise of her own, which was really really awesome, and maybe took the edge off of her totally tough week (to say the least).

Lethargy:

Almost everyday when I get home from work, I am plain exhausted. I lie on my bed (as the bedroom is the coolest place in the house) and read until I’m cool enough to fall asleep. I doze for 2 hours, wake up in a pool of sweat and drool, and wander aimlessly around the house, feeling off-kilter and hot, trying to figure out what time and day it is. Usually by 10, the air outside has cooled off a bit, I turn all of the fans on high, and I climb back into bed around 11. I can’t fall asleep until well after midnight, and wake up for work the next morning to start the process all over again. Such an existence is, indeed, not very gratifying.

Creating Section Titles, A La Mimi Smartypants

In 27 days, I will turn 26. I’ve been in my early-to-mid 20s for quite a while – I’m not sure how I feel about being in my mid-to-late 20s already. Like a lot of other people in my generation, I feel kind of at a loss about what to do with my life. I’m getting married in a month, don’t plan on having kids too soon, and don’t consider my current job a career. I like what I do a lot, but I can’t see myself doing it for the rest of my life. I don’t know exactly what I want to do for the 70+ years I have left. I suppose it’s not really all that important right now. Things will happen as they happen…

MISC. Thought:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s just too tiresome to be worried all the time? I don’t know how some people do it.

Nothing to do with anything else:

Ben and I took an impromptu drive to Lucky Peak last night to take pictures of the moon. Ben has a swell zoom lens that’s able to capture a lot of detail, but with something that far away, there was too much “atmosphere” (haze) between us and it to get a really crisp photo. We’ll have to go up to Bogus or something to get the best view. We spoke with a woman that was out there with her kids, toting a telescope. We asked if we could take a look, but it was broken. Being somewhat familiar with telescopes, I took a look at it, and realized that one of the mirrors was loose and obviously not set up correctly. After the kids and mom took off, we smoked a couple of cigarettes, ate some jerky, and drank water, all while staring at the blinding whiteness of the moon.

And suddenly this has turned into the most boring blog in the world, natch.

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WARNING: Spoilers ahead!!!!

Please please please whatever you do, DO NOT read below this point unless you have read, in full, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Unless, that is, you don’t care about the book or reading it ever. However, if you do read below, and have not read the book, I take no responsibility whatsoever for your loss.
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I sobbed – and I do mean sobbed – for at least 45 minutes yesterday while finishing the book. Though I knew (and understood) from the beginning who was going to end up getting the proverbial 'axe', the way it was presented just made my heart bleed. Even thinking about it again today makes my throat tighten. The whole funeral scene and Harry’s talk with the Minister of Magic made the tears well up again, leaving watery spots on the pages of the book. Later, when I had finally closed the book, I called my friend L, the only other person I know who's finished the book, and started sobbing again while talking about it. I am obviously v. lame.

I admit that I may cry effortlessly whilst reading or watching extremely painful or dramatic scenes, but it must be superior goods. I won’t spring tears for just anyone. Though I tend to watch anime to get rid of some pent up frustration (as it provides a good release and excuse to cry), it’s normally not a deep-down sobbing fit like I had yesterday. I actually had to leave the book 3 times during the last 50 pages to blow my nose and grab more tissues to dab my eyes, lest the tears leave permanent stains on the pages (like the beet-horseradish did that I accidentally spilled on Saturday). I also didn’t cry this much when Sirius died – his character wasn’t around long enough for him to get inside of me, if you know what I mean.

Back to the book: as I said before, I can totally understand why Jo killed off Dumbledore – over the years he’s been a bit of a crutch for Harry. The next, and last, book will force Harry to take on Voldemort himself, with no one’s help (except Ron and Hermione, with the possible addition of a couple others, but c’mon here, Harry is much more powerful than the rest of them put together). The fact that Snape has now been seen in his true form, as well as Malfoy, adds pressure to Harry, as he must realize that these characters now have no one to fear but himself and Voldemort. Harry is now without a true protector, which is something he will have to adjust himself (back) to. I expect the next book to be incredibly long, beginning almost directly where this one left off. I’m sure that Jo must have Harry going back to Hogwarts, with a sneer to the remark Harry made about not returning. This leaves the summer to find at least most of the remaining horcruxes and to find out whom “R.E.B.” is. Whatever happens, it will certainly be exciting.

All in all, I thought it was an awesome fucking book, and now I’m really really really yearning for the next. This has to be my new favorite, with The Goblet of Fire as my second. I would really love to reread it immediately (Half-Blood Prince), but I have 3 other books I’m currently reading which all should be done within the next couple of weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to do it then…

In other interesting news, I went with some friends to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on Saturday night. I enjoyed the movie, especially the way they adapted it from the book. It exceeded my expectations, and I would give it an 8.5/10. To tie in with the above yadda yadda about the Harry Potter book, we were also pleased to see the teaser trailer for The Goblet of Fire on the big screen before the Wonka movie. I have seen it more than a few times online, but seeing it larger-than-life made it all the more thrilling.

Must be off to work now and must stop thinking about Harry Potter. Argh.

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1 is the number of weddings I’m planning, though it seems like 1000
2 is the number of times I had to hold back tears yesterday due to 'bridesmaid frustration'
3 is the number of times I actually did cry, in response to a melodramatic anime, Air
4 is the number of years Ben and I have been together, living in sin
6 is the number of days I have until I go in for my first dress fitting. This scares the hell out of me
10 is the square root of the temperature outside today, Fahrenheit
11 is number of days until the mothers of the groom and myself finally meet – see number ‘4’
15 is the number of times I have checked my budget in disbelief. Today. Somehow I thought I’d be able to do all of this for under $5k. How wrong I was
18 is the number of days until I get to spend time with friends in icy places (I hope that day is hottest day of the year, so I can enjoy it as much as I can)
22 is the number of days until my bridal shower – get on those gifts, girls
24 is the number of hours I have until Ben leaves for a weekend mini-break – I should be able to get some cleaning done while taking breaks from Harry Potter
26 will be my age on August 17th
35 is the number of days until my birthday – 5 weeks exactly
37 is the number of days there are left before the wedding. G-d help me
40 is the number of days until I’m in bonny Scotland
53 is the number of days until I get back and start to lead a normal life again, possibly including intelligible and clever updates to this website by yours truly

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The lack of almost anything intellectually stimulating is slowly numbing my brain. The past weekend was a mostly relaxing one – Ben and I chilled in a condo at Bogus Basin, out of the smog and annual Independence Day inversion (which we could see all too well). We hiked and ate barbeque, watched the beginnings of the Tour de France (satellite television!! In bed!!), played board games, and played video games. On Sunday, some friends came up to join us, making the weekend more filling and lovely. I finally got a chance to have a fanfuckingtastic conversation with Huda (re: child-rearing), and had to wonder why we don’t hang out more often.

July is fucking me with birthdays: Ben’s birth anniversary was on the 28th of June – most of my extra monies went to his gifts and showing him a good time. This month, the locals are demanding – The Future Brother-in-Law’s birthday is tomorrow, Laura’s on the 18th, Queen’s on the 23rd, and Chan’s on the 29th (right?). The out-of-towners are harder to keep track of, but Zach’s and Sam’s was on the first, Bob’s is somewhere around the 5th, Wil’s is on the 29th, and I’m sure there are hordes of others I’m missing. The main issue here is that my wedding is next month, and I can’t charge anything to my credit cards, in hope of having them be clear and free for the honeymoon. Soooo hopefully no one will mind getting $5 in a folded piece of paper for congratulations on being born. Snap.

I really love the idea of a three-day weekend, mostly because of the double-goodness that comes with the extra day off: the 4-day workweek. There’s also the possibility of the workdays directly proceeding and following the weekend are slow, giving more time to dream about the coming/just passed good-time. I’m still looking forward to a proper long holiday in Scotland, away from the pressing heat and wedding worries. A month and a half to go – it seems so close...

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